Wired gave a broken $199 gadget a 4/10 because the case is orange

First of all, Wired, a device that CANNOT DO THE THINGS IT WAS SOLD TO DO is not a 4 out of 10. A 4 out of 10 is mediocre. A device that fails at ordering food, playing music, and answering basic questions — which are literally the three things on the marketing page — is a 1. Maybe a 2 if it at least turns on reliably. You spent $199 of what I assume was someone else's money on this thing, watched it fail at every core task, and your conclusion was 'below average but not terrible'? In what universe?

Secondly, I need to address the MULTIPLE paragraphs you dedicated to how cute the orange hardware looks. Wired, I cannot stress this enough: nobody cares what color a broken product is. You described the scroll wheel like it was a design achievement while the software behind it couldn't complete a single useful task. That's like reviewing a car that doesn't start and spending half your word count on the paint job. Tell me about return policies. Tell me if there's a roadmap for fixes. Tell me whether the company is financially stable enough to actually deliver on their promises. THAT is what a consumer needs to know.

The phrase 'growing pains' appears in this review and it made my blood pressure spike. Growing pains are for beta software, not for a $199 retail product that people bought with real money expecting it to work. Wired had a responsibility to protect consumers from spending money on a device that was clearly not ready for market, and instead you wrote a gentle, encouraging review that reads like a participation trophy. But does it actually WORK, Wired? You documented in your own review that it doesn't, and then scored it like it almost does. Shameful.