Kotaku's Nioh 3 review argues with itself for 1,500 words. Both sides lose.

Harper Jay MacIntyre's review of Nioh 3 is the journalistic equivalent of ordering both dessert and a salad because you 'couldn't decide.' The combat is the best in the genre! But the game is too easy. The open world is ambitious! But the story overstays its welcome. It's like watching someone argue with themselves in a mirror and somehow both sides lose.

Calling Nioh 3 'the best-playing Souls-like around' while simultaneously saying it's too easy is like calling a restaurant the best steakhouse in town but complaining the steak has no flavor. Pick a lane, Harper. If the difficulty is gone, what exactly makes a Souls-like a Souls-like? A stamina bar and a dodge roll? By that logic my morning jog is a Souls-like.

The review spends roughly 40% of its word count praising the combat, 40% complaining about everything else, and the remaining 20% in a fugue state of ambivalence that would make a philosophy professor weep. Kotaku famously doesn't use review scores, which in this case is merciful — because what number do you give a review that reads like a therapy session where the patient hasn't had a breakthrough yet? I'll give it a 5 out of 7, which is coincidentally also my rating for this review. Perfectly mediocre.