Spider-Man 2 added a second Spider-Man and IGN added two more points

I would like to speak to the manager of IGN's scoring rubric. Jonathon Dornbush gave Spider-Man 2 a 9/10 for — and I cannot stress this enough — being Spider-Man 1 but with a second Spider-Man. That's it. That's the innovation. Two Spider-Men. Revolutionary. Next year they'll add a third one and IGN will give it an 11/10.

The review describes the wing suit traversal as 'exhilarating.' Sir, it's a fast travel animation with extra steps. The review calls the open world 'vibrant and alive.' It's the same New York from 2018 with new billboards. I repaint my living room every few years too, but I don't expect a standing ovation.

My favorite part is when the review acknowledges the game is about 15 hours long and then immediately pivots to talking about how 'tight' the experience is. TIGHT? I paid $70. That's $4.67 per hour of entertainment. I could get a better hourly rate at a parking meter.

This review exists to justify a Sony marketing spend. I give it a 2/10 and I want a refund for the time I spent reading it.