The Guardian gave 4 films a perfect 5/5 the same year. Everything is breathtaking.

Peter Bradshaw gave Killers of the Flower Moon a perfect 5 out of 5 stars, and I want you to understand what that means in Bradshaw's personal scoring universe. This is a man who reviews roughly 200 films per year for The Guardian. He gave 5 stars to Killers of the Flower Moon. He gave 5 stars to Oppenheimer the same year. He gave 5 stars to Past Lives. He gave 5 stars to The Zone of Interest. At a certain point, if everything is breathtaking, nothing is breathtaking. You're just hyperventilating.

The review calls the film 'epic and enthralling,' which is technically accurate in the same way that calling the Pacific Ocean 'damp' is technically accurate. The film is 206 minutes long. Bradshaw does not once — not once — mention runtime as a factor in the viewing experience. He treats a 3.5-hour film the same way he'd treat a 90-minute thriller: pure breathless enthusiasm from the first sentence to the last. This is suspicious. I have sat through Killers of the Flower Moon. It is a very good film. It is also, at points, a film where you become acutely aware of your own skeleton. A 5-star review that doesn't even acknowledge this is a review written for the director's fridge, not for the audience.

Bradshaw's Scorsese reviews follow a pattern so predictable you could set your watch by it. Scorsese film arrives. Bradshaw deploys words like 'masterful,' 'breathtaking,' and 'extraordinary.' Five stars. Print. This has happened with The Irishman, Silence, and now Killers of the Flower Moon. The man has never met a Scorsese film he didn't want to marry. Which would be fine, except The Guardian positions him as a critic, not a fan. There's a difference, Peter. Critics occasionally say 'this bit didn't work.' Fans say 'breathtaking.' Guess which one this review is.

The most revealing line in the entire review is the quote about the film being 'enthralling.' Enthralling means 'capturing one's complete attention.' The review itself captures nobody's attention because it says nothing that a press release wouldn't. Scorsese is great, DiCaprio commits, De Niro is chilling. Yes, Peter. We know. We've been watching these men work for decades. What did you see that we couldn't get from the trailer? A 5-star review should justify its own existence. This one just genuflects.